This is my 677th
Chinese Xieyi Painting and
my 1197th painting since 2003and My 482nd assignment and 86th painting in the study of the second phase as a candidate of Degree of Master of Fine Arts of Chinese National Academy of Arts.
Also it is the 125th painting I have painted in the USA since 2008 and the 5th painting in my 7th American travel.
I painted this painting after giving up an unexpected travel to go back Beijing to take part in a thesis proposal conference even thought I had bought the ticket with a higher cost in the Christmas season, which cannot be refund. I got the inform which should be given me in Nov or earlier on Dec 6 and the deadline to hand in my thesis proposal is on Dec 8. Because I had lost my Chinese cell phone Nov 28 and there is no any inform in my inbox, too.
Although my tutor supervisor who directs my master study and I connect always, but he works in Chinese Painting School and the conference is organized by the Graduated School. So, my tutor/supervisor did not know the schedule until Dec 6, and he called me at 3:30am as soon as he got the news.
At the first time, he advised me to give up to take part in the conference in Beijing for the time is really too tight to do a thesis proposal for a dissertation which is required to write 30,000 Chinese Characters, but if I really wanted to do it, he would also like to help me to ask for about 5 days.
Since the Master of Fine Arts relates to my possible job in OTC because the basic condition to teach as an instructor is to have a master degree. Although I have a DBA and a MBA, but the first one I got in China via the study in a Doctoral Course by Shenzhen Personnel Bureau and an American University which was not admitted by Chinese Ministry of Education and it is said it was closed in the financial crisis in 2007 or 2009? I myself did not think it is a honor to have a doctoral degree of this university even though I had studied hard for 2.5 years and paid a highest tuition. This is just one of the reasons I came to the USA in 2008 and to get a true Master Degree in Missouri State in the United States. I wanted to get a degree in a true American University instead of a university which cooperates with an Chinese organization even though it is a Government Organization, such as Shenzhen Personnel Bureau which is managing the managers in the first class Chinese city which has a population of 12 millions.
Therefore, I told my tutor that I wanted to try once, then he did his best to support me and sent me more than 50 messages, 6 emails and more than 10 phone calls, even, he corrected what I have written in person.
Then, fighting with the sharp ache on my ankle (I hurt it on Nov 21 and 28 twice and maybe my cell phone was slipped out of my pocket at that time I sat down on the road on Dec 28. And maybe this is the reason that the school could not connect me via cell phone or Wechat), I wrote my first draft with 7400 Chinese Characters on Dec 7; the second draft with 7500 Chinese Characters on Dec 8.
But I could not be able to follow my tutor /supervisor's directions to do the draft 3rd time and 4th time... I did feel that I had reached the limit no matter my health or patience with the continuous ache and thinking on the topic, with an originally and completely exhausted situation just finishing a book with painting, music and writing on the poem… I would be dead if I continued to work on it…
So, although my tutor has arranged everything for me before his business travel and he prepared to correct my proposal in person as soon as he came back Beijing, also I had connected someone to picked up me at the Beijing capital airport and I had bought my ticket which cannot be refund in the Christmas season ... I do not think many ideas of my thesis proposal are mature, and I do need to re-discuss with my tutor/supervisor many times... After all, they are the researching for my last dream, it should be able to direct, support my current and future work directions, production design and flat form system... It is not a pure a paper just for a master degree, but it should be something relates to arts and business model. It is a proposal for creating my cross-culture and comprehensive art and project.
It is really something quite serious and relates to the goal of the rest of my life.
So, after thinking it seriously with the sharp ache on my ankle and many tears on my face, I decided to give up, even though I would take the risk maybe lose the job in the USA in 2017,and I myself will face the fate to be suspended my schooling without losing my status as a master student of Chinese National Academy of Arts for one year... meanwhile, I will lose much money for the ticket and many things else.
Anyway, since I have done the decision, I felt much easy in my heart and I tried to paint the painting which I had painted the traveler there but I could not really start it because of the pain ankle and the unexpected travel...
When I was painting, I could not help thinking, maybe the road of life is just like the traveler under my brusher has met in the forest – it is so hard to read the peak of the mountain, but he must go among the extremely hard situation, to find a road and to climb up one step by step …
Life is full of hard choices, we must do it and to go forward...
How do you think of this painting? Do you enjoy it?
If you have any questions, comments or suggestions, welcome to write to shirley@ebridge.cn,you can also publish your opinions on Message Board . :-)
--Shirley Yiping ZhangDec 12, 2016
