Never Give Up -- Shirley's 225th Friendly Greeting - Thur, Oct 29, 2009

How are you? I do hope that you are doing well and enjoy your time.

I started this letter on the airplane to come back Shenzhen from Wuxi last Sunday.

My mother was sent into a hospital for her cancer last Thursday and I flied there to see her last Friday night.

Her doctors did not think there would be any hope and told us that she would go in 3 months. After discussing with my father and my brother, we decided to have a talking with her doctors because we would never give up. We wanted to do our best to extend her life via some Chinese traditional medicine since there is no way to help her via the modern medicine right now.

So, as soon as I reached Wuxi Friday night, I checked data as much as possible and I chose two kinds of traditional Chinese medicine for my mother. After having a same opinions of my father and my brother, I called the director of the department of my mother is living and I suggested to try some traditional Chinese medicine to fight the cancer with a positive style instead of just maintaining her life. The director told me that my mother had entered the last term of her life, but, since our family members have a so positive attitude, he would like to try. Also, he said that the medicine that I chose has some effect to control the cancer, but my mother could not eat at that time, so, he would like to use another Chinese traditional medicine and to inject it into her vein, the result would be better. I agreed with him and he called his doctor to use the new medicine for my mother since Saturday afternoon.

I am really happy that when I left for Shenzhen on Sunday, she had been able to eat a little thing and Monday night, she had her first best sleep.

Now we have had plans No. 1, No. 2 and No. 3, to help her to fight the cancer according to different situations. Even though the modern medicine has sentenced her "death penalty", we still wanted to create a wonder with our love to her. At least, to reduce her pain, to give her hope, to extend her life, and to make her live in love and feel happiness.

Even though my heart was very sad. I kept smiling as soon as I went into my mother's room and when I see my father. I would like to bring them smiles and I hope we can face the cancer with a positive heart.

So, except talking with the docotors, to buy medicine and anything else she needed, I brought her two of my best paintings, showed her my photos of getting master degree, art exhibitions, painting demonstrations and workshops in the US. Also, I sat by her as long as I could, to look after her transfusion, to touch her pain place tenderly, to sing a lullaby for her, to make her smile...

Can you imagine? Saturday afternoon, after I calmed her emotion, when I sang a lullaby for her to help her sleep, she wanted to sing with me together,so that we sang 4 songs together. And before I left for Shenzhen, I encouraged my father and my mother to sang a famous Chinese classical poem Man Jiang Hong by Yue Fei(1103 ?1142) together, my brother and I took some photos and videos for them... I am sure that if you came into my mother's sickroom, if I did not tell you that she was suffering the cancer, you would never realize that this is a patient in her cancer's later time...

So, my mother often calls me her “pistachio nuts” ? something makes her happiness and I call her my family's "old baby". :-)

During the process, a strong feeling is that some Western culture, such as “Hug” has really its reason and it has really helped me so much.

Do you know? Before I went to the US, I had never hugged anyone and most of Chinese adults do not do that in the public occasions, too. Hug is not our culture. After I came back from the US, hug has changed to be something to express a kind feeling naturally. So, when I saw my mother first time or when I left from her, I hugged her and encouraged her stronger and overcomed her sickness. After I said “Good Night” to my father, I hugged him naturally, too.

I really found that a tender hug at the most difficult time of my family, has really brought my parents many smiles and much happiness. I cannot explain why, I just feel that a hug and a body's touch have really some wonderful result to help us to share the difficult or happy time.

The most comfort thing is that every child in the family has done our best -- to offer financial supports proactive even though my mother has her medicine insurance, to call my father everyday times and I call him 3 times each day, to prepare to have a travel at once -- One hand, we are competing with time and we want to extend our mother's life; the other hand, we are looking after our father, to prepare to face the last time...

With much love, I drafted my new Chinese Gongbi painting on the airplane and I created it for my parents. I do hope you enjoy it.

How about you? Do you have anything special in your life in the past several days?

I am just a learner on art of painting, music, English and Chinese language, to work on the web site in my free time. I would really like to do a few things with what I have learned to make this little web site to be an Electronic Bridge of Culture Exchange, Chinese Language Learning & Friendship making. To help the others while to improve myself.

I would like to appreciate your understanding, directions, supports and hope to get your friendly direction and help.

If you have any questions, comments or suggestions, you are welcome to write to or, or to publish your opinions in the forum.

Shirley Yiping Zhang
Wed, Oct 29, 2009 From China

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