The Special Painkiller -- Shirley's 227th Friendly Greeting - Wed., Nov 25, 2009

How are you? I do hope that you are doing well and enjoy your time.

Now I am still in my third travel to look after my mother who is suffering cancer in Wuxi.

Nov 13, her situation got worse. I flew to Wuxi in the same night.

Nov 14, I met her doctor and the dean of her department. They told me that both of the hospital and our family members had done our best, but, she would go away in a short time.

According to the situation, I made 4 plans for my mother to choose -- 1) continues to stay in the hospital; 2) fixes a family sickroom and lets her stay with family members in my younger brother's house; 3) goes back to their current rest home or any rest home that she wants to be in; 4) gives up treatments and has a travel in the South of China.

At the first, she chose the last plan; then she chose the third plan; finally, she chose the second plan and stays in our family sickroom.

So, Nov 17, the doctors drew out the drainage-tube for her.

Nov 19 - on my father's birthday of 85 years old, we picked up her from the hospital and created an opportunity for her to say "Happy Birthday!” to my father in an easier environment ? our family sickroom.

Nov 20, via the helping of Internet, we found Dr. Wang Jiuhui who is from Suzhou Medicine College and her clinics to be my mother’s daily medicinal supporting ? transfusion, pain killer injection in the business days; a nurse aide /carer -- Mrs. Gu Ping who had passed the professional examination to look after my mother's life for 24 hours; plus my sister-in-law who is a nurse manager to look after her in the nights and weekends. To make sure that my mother is helped by these professional persons always.

Even though, she is still suffering her cancer, she re-started smile since Nov 14 -- when I showed her my 27th Chinese Gongbi Painting and told her that she was just one of the birds and my father was the other one...when I showed her my last draft on the airplane that she and my father were just like the two baby chicken in it. :-). Her Roommate told me that was her first smile after she had the operation.

Since she came back my brother's house ( usually, my parents live in their rest home on business days and live in my brother's house on the weekends), smiles have come back her face when she does not suffer the ache of cancer.

Nov 24 ? yesterday, we performed the procedure to go out of the hospital after a “Vacation” for 3 days. She would go over her last time with our family members, her family doctors and carer together.

Nov 25 - today, I have called my sister who is a high school teacher in Heilongjian province. I offer the financial support for both of her and her husband flying to Shanghai Nov 28. One friend will pick up them at the airport and send them to come to Wuxi.

My younger sister who is a university professor has adjusted her lessons ahead. She will fly to Shanghai then come to Wuxi Nov 26, too.

I am waiting for them and I wish that I would have a short rest.

During the process that my mother entered the hospital Oct 25 until she went out of the hospital Nov 24, I have deeply felt that in this world, except the painkiller of medicine, there is really something as a special painkiller to help a cancer patient.

First of all, the responsible service of the doctors, nurses, carers and the sincere friendship of friends is the special painkiller.

Mr. Xie Qigen and Mr. Zhu Jianliang ? the two deans have done their best with their kind hearts to help my mother and to reduce her pain on her body and psychology.

Ms. Wang Qiongyao ? a beautiful young doctor has looked after my mother with a female's special attentive and a kind heart, to change her dressings in person, to look after her on the weekends, to offer different prescription according to the different situation and to do her best to reduce my mother's ache and vomit.

Mrs. Wang Jiuhui -- a retired president of a local hospital, she is from a “Medicine Family” -- her father, husband and two daughters are all doctors. She has too many patients and she is so busy -- during I visited her first time for about 10 minutes, 3 groups of the local residents came to see her. As a respected doctor, she needs not make the little money via coming to my mother’s family sickroom at all. She still wants to help us. So, no matter how ache my mother is suffering, as long as she sees Dr. Wang, a trusted smile comes on her face...

Mrs. Gu Ping -- the carer who had been tainted by the hospital and passed the professional examinations, is doing her best to look after my mother. She works so hard with so much patience -- feeds my mother to eat, drink, wash, deals with her vomits, pee and every thing. No matter how hard jobs she has to do, she has been keeping kind smiles, and we have never heard any complaining from her at all. So, when my mother chose the last plan to have a travel, she required us to take Mrs. Gu with us together, and she required me to pay her more to appreciate her...

Mr. Xu Yong ? an old friend from Shanghai, as soon as he knew my mother’s situation via my newsletter, he called me and introduced me some medicine that his father and colleagues who are also suffering cancers have been using. Since they have lived for over 4 years already, he wished me to try for my mother. With the last hope, I agreed with him, then he asked his friend Ms. Zhang Yuehua to call me and to match the medicine. Then he ordered it with his own account online since this kind of medicine is made in the US and we had to buy it via an Australian agent. Some of the medicine could not be ordered online, Mr. Xu went to somewhere in Shanghai to find it and sent it to Wuxi in person so that he did not go to sleep until 2:00am Nov 15 and went to back Shanghai in a rain...

Mr. Yu Qian ? the general manager of one of my younger brother’s companies, arranged a chef to look after my mother’s food before I came to Wuxi. Seeing my suitcase was broken in the airplane when I reached his hotel Nov 13 night, a new one appeared in my sitting room next night.

Mr. Charlie Zhang and his wife is looking after my home and my birds in Shenzhen.

Mr. Zhang Shuliang is looking after my car that was crashed in a traffic accident before I flew to Wuxi -- a telephone call from my father made me in a hurry heart so that I crashed another car. It was also him to pick up me at the airport always. Even though he had to look after his own jobs and his pregnant wife, he still kept helping me.

Mrs. He -- my former cleaning lady has come back Shenzhen to look after her daughter who will have her first baby in 1 month. As soon as she reached Shenzhen on Nov 24, she called me and she would like to clean my home for several days free...

Once more, I have felt that in this monetary world, there is still something beautiful cannot be bought by money. It will be hidden in my heart and to be cherished and remembered forever...

Secondly, the family members' love is another important painkiller of a cancer patient.

After my mother entered the hospital, my father went to her sickroom at 7:00am by my sister-in-law's car and went back home at 7:00pm by my brother's car, then he made a telephone call to my mother's carer before he went to sleep. As an elder person of 85 years old, he still wants to do every thing for my mother in person -- from arranging her eating and drinking to massaging her bloated feet... every day, he called me 4 or 5 times, to tell me any good news such as my mother had eaten 3 dumplings already, or the bad news that my mother was not feeling good...

As the youngest child in the family, my younger brother stands the direct responsibilities to look after my mother since my parents are living the same city with him. As the president and the deputy general manager in different companies, he is quite busy. But, since my mother entered into the hospital, he has been keeping looking at her in the hospital every day and he looks after my father and keeps having a dinner with him each night. As long as it was possible, he tried to pick up me at the airport and to arrange my hotel in person. Since my mother went back home, it was him to take medicine from the hospital every day and to pick up Dr. Wang or her assistant Dr.Bao to come to my mother in person...

My sister in law -- she is younger than I 12 years, she has been a nurse manager of the operating room for about 10 years. Even though she stands very heavy jobs and many responsibilities in the hospital, she has been keeping cooking breakfast for my father in person, drives him to hospital in person, and looks after my mother in person. In case my brother was not at home, it was her to send me to go back my hotel in the night, too...

By the good education and effect of my brother and sister-in-law, their daughter has known how to treat an old person with a kind heart. Every evening, as soon as she comes home, the first thing she does is to see her grandmother and to say Hello to her...

My younger sister ? the university professor in Nanning, Guangxi province calls me or my father at least three times each day. She has not only sent some Chinese traditional medicine to my mother and she has had her lessons as many as possible for she wants come Wuxi as soon as possible.

My younger sister -- the high school teacher in Heilongjiang has sent some Tibetan medicine to my mother, and she will come to Wuxi with her husband soon. Their daughter ? a medicine student, who has just gotten her master degree in a university in Wuxi, often comes to see my mother with her boyfriend together and does everything for her patiently...

My son's father ? J not only sent money to my mother as soon as he knew my mother's situation, he will drive to Wuxi from Shanghai to see her, too.

All of these have given my mother much warm, comfort and happiness at the most difficult time in her last time of life...

Nov 15, when she chose the third plan and then she knew that both of my younger brother and I had gone several rest homes to see whether it would be suitable for her; both of my younger brother and my sister-in-law had prepared a family sickroom in their house for her - thinking of that would be impossible for her to go upstairs and to live in her own room in my brother's house, their had fixed my younger brother's book room in the first floor to be her sickroom and they had bought two beds for her and her carer; I had brought her a new wheelchair. In fact, except helping the carer to look after her for 12 to 14 hours every day, I cooked anything she wanted to eat in one of my former colleges' house no matter going there in the rain or wind. Sometimes, I went to 3 supermarkets to find one thing that she wanted to eat, I cooked at least 5 kinds of food each time, bought about 10 kinds of the food or fruit for her to choose since she cannot eat most of the food. As soon as I have time, I massage for her, sing songs for her, deal with her vomitus or pee and do anything she needs... She said to her friends that "How happy as an old person I am!"

Thirdly, Music is maybe an assistant painkiller of a cancer patient.

Many times, my songs played the role of helping my mother to reduce her ache. Many times, my songs have made her in a peaceful emotion and brought her some smiles...

Sometimes, when she was not too pain, she wanted to sing with me together... another cancer patients in the same sickroom or the same floor joined us and tried to learn singing from me -- I taught them how to breath and to massage their internal organs with breath when they were having their transfusion... Can you imagine? A lady whose husband is suffering cancer in the next room invited me to sing for him...

I do feel that except the painkiller of medicine, maybe there is really something special as the painkiller. That may be love, friendship and music...

How do you think of my idea? Do you agree with me? Do you have anything special in your life in the past 2 weeks?

I am just a learner on art of painting, music, English and Chinese language, to work on the web site in my free time. I would really like to do a few things with what I have learned to make this little web site to be an Electronic Bridge of Culture Exchange, Chinese Language Learning & Friendship making. To help the others while to improve myself.

I would like to appreciate your understanding, directions, supports and hope to get your friendly direction and help.

If you have any questions, comments or suggestions, you are welcome to write to or, or to publish your opinions in the forum.

Shirley Yiping Zhang
Wed., Nov 25, 2009

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